Random Access Memory

My Saturn

Saturday August 23, 2008 11:22pm EST

I found an old chat log from the unofficial Digit Press IRC channel, #VBender on the Efnet network. In it, I talk about why I so fell in love with the Sega Saturn. Not necessarily the console itself, mind you. More like the concept of the Saturn altogether. I've decided I may as well make another one of these entry dealies and say a little something about it.

It all started at my cousin Charlie's house. Well, he's not really my cousin. He's the son of my sister's godparents, so, whatever. We were born 44 days apart from each other and raised like cousins when we were younger so, my cousin he is and shall always be.

Anyway, Charlie always had the latest and greatest consoles and shit. He had a Saturn *and* a Playstation. Fucker was in the zone. This was I dunno, '95, '96? I wasn't having the best time at home, what with my mom being a crazy cunt and having husband after boyfriend after husband in and out of our lives. I loved hanging out with Charlie and his parents.

So, there we were, it was late at night and we were playing Eternal Champions...that's another post another day. I was in fucking heaven amazed with this game, but it was late, we were tired, and his Green Jello CDs were getting on my nerves. I liked them, but not after the 68th spin on continuous play.

I put the controller down and started shuffling through his entertainment unit looking for something else to pop into the Genny when I saw the weird black box that bore the Sega logo in the corner of the unit. I asked him what it was....yeah, I know. I didn't know what the fuck a Saturn was in '96ish. Fuck off, I'm a late bloomer...

He said it was a Saturn. It was the newer Sega console but he didn't have any decent enough games to play for it. He said that his Playstation was way better and that all the games for the Saturn he'd seen were pure gaybait horseshit.

Still, there was something about it. It looked powerful just sitting there. It was nothing more than a boring black plastic box, but the few curves that god awful american second version had still made it look beautiful. It was mystery and sex and undiscovered gaming ecstasy all in a boring little black plastic box.

I'd almost forgotten about it after that. Almost...until that fateful day at Incredible Universe. That day did lots of bad things to me. It wasd the first time i'd ever seen Atari's Jaguar in person. It was the first time I'd ever heard of the Warcraft franchise, and played an RTS that I can remember. (again, more on that one later....) Most importantly, for this post anyway, is that it was the first time I'd actually gotten to play a Saturn.

I looked at the weird analog controller and thought to myself, what...the...fuck is this retarded fat round thing and why must I be tortured with it. Yeah, I thought it was stupid. Then I looked at the screen and saw this weird clown or jester thing floating around like some drugged up brian boitano. Gaaaaaay...right?

No. I was holding the Saturn's analog controller in my hand, and playing the demo for NIGHTS into Dreams. The BEST advertisement for the system possible. My God, it was beautiful. The feel of the analog joystick was incredible. That gay little clown dude moved instantly when I moved my thumb. Control was smooth, the graphics were gorgeous, and goddamnit, the thing was fun!

I stood there for 20 minutes or so. Some mommy asked me to move so her little shitwad kid could get a turn. I moved away and walked over to the computer section to drool over the Performas and eventually made my way to the demo room where Warcraft 2 was installed and waiting for me to be completely fucking brainwashed by Blizzard and their most-awesome-games-ever-fucking-made crack. Again...another post.

So, that was that for awhile. Between my Genny and Dez getting me a PS2 this past christmas, I'd not owned a "current" console. That was what...14 years? Yeah. I was a bad gamer. Then again, I wasn't much of a gamer anyways. My GBA and later DS kept me somewhat current, but that was it.

It wasn't until about '01 that I'd even seen another Saturn. My friend Ali let me borrow one with a stack of games. I forgot it at another cousin's house. I got it back after awhile, and returned it. While I had it, I got a chance to play a few of the better US released games. Panzer Dragoon, Guardian Heroes, and Daytona USA blew my fucking mind.

After that, I learned what I coud about the system. It contributed greatly to my outright fanboyism over Sega for a long time. Eventually, my friend Ali found one at a thrift with the cabling and a controller for $20. I had him grab it right away.

I picked up a few random shit titles for it, and got a nice stack of them as a secret santa gift, but they weren't what I was after, and once this deal of starting over in my collecting hit, the Saturn was targetted for liquidation. Aside from the little bit of playing I did with the borrowed one, and the sex appeal and mystery surrounding it, I had no nostalgia for it whatsoever.

Thankfully, I stopped at getting rid of the console itself, and only divested myself of the games. I still have the console as I got it from Ali. I did some research, I have the best model for modding the fuck outta it too, so that's a plus if I decide to go that way.

My other research resulted in my discovering the ridiculous amounts of omg wtf why weren't those released in america imports. Most of the ones i've been thinking of acquiring are thankfully in english anyway, so that's a plus. I don't know. I'll have to think about and focus what I want to collect for it before I do anything else. At least I have a good base console.