Robert Raymond Alpizar

Getting Back To it

Sunday December 16th, 2018 12:26am EST

A couple of weeks ago I had a health scare that really messed me up. It made me think about things I have on my to do list that I’ve procrastinated in actually getting done. Most of the time, when I know I have something I need to take care of, I instead find myself sitting on my ass playing games on my computer or wasting untold hours watching basically garbage on Youtube. So, I popped into my file archive and went straight to the folder that holds all of the fiction documents I’ve accumulated over the years, but have never really done anything with. Looking through the well organized but completely neglected folders, I decided it was time to stop fucking around and actually try to finish something.

I have at this moment 23 folders holding the notes, ideas, and stunted snippets of actual writing for 33 different...we’ll call them stories. Some of these I’ve been tinkering with since the early 90s. A few are what I once considered complete, and I even submitted them to a few places, but all were rejected. It took me a long time to realize that what I considered a complete story was really just a long brain splat of a few connected scenes that never seemed to contain the basic structure of an actual story. The big three ya know? Beginning, middle, and end.

I don’t know why, but I picked the big one. The monolithic story that isn’t just a tidy self-contained narrative but a massive word unto itself. This one has a history spanning thousands of years, upward of a hundred named and somewhat fleshed out characters, geography, a living history unto itself. I can pick any random point on the timeline within this world and I’ve created a character and some semblance of a conflict for them to resolve. This particular world has been touched on and off since middle school...and I have no fucking clue how to finish a single character’s journey out of all of it.